This movie already has a long title. I could follow the usual format for movie review titles and call this post something like "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: A Review of Martin Freeman Running Around with Dwarves and Fighting Orcs with a Tiny Blue Sword." Or something, but then you'd be scrolling for days just reading the damn title.
The movie is quite lengthy itself, so instead of the usual smart ass recap, we're going to try something different. Here is the summary of my movie experience using... BULLET POINTS!
What I took away from The Hobbit: An Unexp... you know the title.
- Bilbo is better than Frodo. In pretty much every way possible. It only takes about 10 minutes to learn this.
- A dragon named Smaug destroys a city named Dale. Yep, not Daletown, or Dalesburg. Just Dale. I guess not every town in Middle Earth can have a sweet name.
- Speaking of goofy names, Bilbo hangs out with too many dwarves with names like Balin, Dwalin, Fíli, Kíli, Dori... Yeah, I had to look those names up. I would almost prefer Snow White style names. Or Santa reindeer names.
- Orcs, orcs, orcs, dammit enough with the orcs.
- Gollum can only speak using his overused cliche words and phrases.
- Oh, those were goblins? I thought they were more damn orcs.
- Eagles! Hell yeah
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| The Goblin King and his fellow Ballchinians. |
Final Thoughts: Fight orcs here, fight orcs there, slightly amusing troll anecdote, more
Do they drink beer in this movie?
Umm, sure. We'll say that they drink Dwarf Ale.
Final Beer Score (Out of five beers):
